by Lee Miller on February 7, 2010
“Clutter is anything unfinished, unused, unresolved, tolerated or disorganized.” ~ Vicky White
I read this quote on Facebook a few days ago. It’s been leaning into me ever since.
What could it mean to embrace the unfinished, the unused, the unresolved, the tolerated and the disorganized in our lives? Sounds like work, doesn’t it? But, ahhh, the rewards.
The Unfinished & Unused
If there’s an award for unfinished, I would win it. I’m a quilter. Quilters love fabric. They love to feel it, buy it, stack it, arrange it, store it, cut it and, eventually, sew it.
With that love comes a sense of responsibility–more like a burden. Sew it, Lee, sew it. I have far to many unfinished projects. Unfinished creates heaviness. A sense of obligation. A sense of waste.
The solution? I know many people and organizations that can use the fabric I have–and put it to good use. Right now. That’s the good news.
What are your areas of unfinished-ness? Anything hanging around that you’ve never used? Take action on at least one item. Finish it or give it away. I challenge you. Then just sit down, take a deep breath and enjoy how good it feels.
The Unresolved & Tolerated
Unresolved and tolerated can go in many directions. That overcharge on a bill. A conversation that needs to be finished. A business relationship that isn’t working. That broken thing.
Right now I am tolerating a desk chair that drives me crazy. I’ve known that for awhile, but I haven’t done anything about it. Tomorrow I’ll switch chair with the one upstairs. Done. Just think, I’ve tolerated this one for about 12 months. And why?
For over 25 years there was an unresolved issue between me and my sister. It was in there under the surface–in my heart. I felt responsible to clear up my part of the issue. I wrote to her, explained my concern, told her I was sorry and asked if I could make things right. Her response? She said she had never even given one ounce of thought about it–ever. Not in all the 25 years. It was a non-issue to her. I couldn’t believe it. Bingo. It was gone. Burden lifted. Lightness in heart.
Think of one thing in your life that you consider unresolved or tolerated. Minor or major…it doesn’t matter. Just tackle one. You will love the feeling of closure.
The Disorganized
Paper is my nemesis. It comes in via mail, in person, email and I generate plenty myself. It’s everywhere. I don’t want to get rid of “it” because it might come in handy some day.
Instead, it becomes a burden. Something to shuffle. To stack. To handle. And to handle again. To file. To unfile. And the beat goes on. I am working on improving this daily.
Does this sound remotely familiar?
Recognizing Your Elephant
We have energy drains. They come to us a physical or mental clutter. We have this clutter elephant around us. We adjust. We walk around it. We move it. Can you see it?
What would support you in reclaiming your space? Your energy? You?
What could you do to support others? Donate, recycle and free yourself up. It’s a win-win!
I dare you to face off with your elephant! You’ll feel like a million bucks.
Blessings, Lee
by Lee Miller on February 2, 2010
Walking Tall
I live in northern Wisconsin which is the land of extreme beauty–springs that brings new life and energy; summer that is sunny, warm and overflowing with nature’s gifts; fall with colors that take your breath away; and winter with snow, stillness and a kind of majesty all its own.
We’ve just been blessed with lots of moisture (which we need)–snow, rain-snow mix, rain and freezing rain.
After almost 8 years of living in fear walking on ice, I ordered my Stabilicers from LLBean. I opened that package, slipped those suckers on my winter boots and I was s-e-t. I now became one fearless walking freak in any winter condition. Seriously, I am one happy camper.
Imagine this. Me defying all the odds. Walking taller than tall. Shoulder back, head looking up and marching with the cadence of my two labs. It felt like I was climbing Mount Everest.
This was a simple fear to conquer. Buy boot gear, get fearless. Easy-peasy!
There are other fears that are much more deeply entrenched–some we’re not even aware of–that we work through in other ways. And…it’s not like we can order “it” up from a catalog. It takes courage, self-appreciation and a tenacious spirit to want to arrive at better place–your “there.” Emerging from overt or covert abuse is not for the faint-hearted. Thriving beyond it is possible–trust me, I am living proof.
The Small Little Voice
As a child in my home, the unspoken, but fiercely understood, rule was that “children were to be seen and not heard.” If I spoke out of turn or–heaven forbid–questioned “why” I was dealt with swiftly. Fear shut down my audible voice, but the inner voice raged and was generally pissed off at being misunderstood, unappreciated and squelched.
I was born with a intuitive gift to speak the truth, asked powerful questions and come from a place of curiosity. It’s me. It’s my fiber. It’s like air to me. It’s flows through my veins.
So for 30 some years, I lived the family rule. I kept my inner voice quiet…except…when I couldn’t hold it in anymore and it periodically came out in volcano-like frustration and anger. Not a nice ride.
I didn’t order a package from LLBean for this one. It came into my life as a gift. A new awareness. A class called Assertiveness. I sat speechless when I learned that my voice mattered. That what I had to say mattered. That there was a win-win way of having a conversation, I literally felt like I’d been re-born with a new spirit, new heart, new freedom and a new Lee.
I re-wired old beliefs that weren’t supporting me. I reclaimed my true spirit. I celebrate that everyday.
Grow Beyond Your Circumstances
When abuse comes, it can steal and destroy. We each have the choice of growing where we are planted.
Beginning again. This day. At the moment. Gifts of help are available in the form of new skills, broader understanding, and lavish support. Moving beyond–by choice. Growing–by choice. Living your way–by choice.
Staying stuck is also a choice. You and I are worthy women. Worthy of living who God created us to be–in all our fullness.
We are not our life circumstance. We are what we do in spite with our life circumstances. Find the gift that helps you unlock your fear and supports you to move towards what you want. Coaches are great for that. I’m a coach that would love to support you in getting to your “there.”
Blessings, Lee