Walking Tall
I live in northern Wisconsin which is the land of extreme beauty–springs that brings new life and energy; summer that is sunny, warm and overflowing with nature’s gifts; fall with colors that take your breath away; and winter with snow, stillness and a kind of majesty all its own.
We’ve just been blessed with lots of moisture (which we need)–snow, rain-snow mix, rain and freezing rain.
After almost 8 years of living in fear walking on ice, I ordered my Stabilicers from LLBean. I opened that package, slipped those suckers on my winter boots and I was s-e-t. I now became one fearless walking freak in any winter condition. Seriously, I am one happy camper.
Imagine this. Me defying all the odds. Walking taller than tall. Shoulder back, head looking up and marching with the cadence of my two labs. It felt like I was climbing Mount Everest.
This was a simple fear to conquer. Buy boot gear, get fearless. Easy-peasy!
There are other fears that are much more deeply entrenched–some we’re not even aware of–that we work through in other ways. And…it’s not like we can order “it” up from a catalog. It takes courage, self-appreciation and a tenacious spirit to want to arrive at better place–your “there.” Emerging from overt or covert abuse is not for the faint-hearted. Thriving beyond it is possible–trust me, I am living proof.
The Small Little Voice
As a child in my home, the unspoken, but fiercely understood, rule was that “children were to be seen and not heard.” If I spoke out of turn or–heaven forbid–questioned “why” I was dealt with swiftly. Fear shut down my audible voice, but the inner voice raged and was generally pissed off at being misunderstood, unappreciated and squelched.
I was born with a intuitive gift to speak the truth, asked powerful questions and come from a place of curiosity. It’s me. It’s my fiber. It’s like air to me. It’s flows through my veins.
So for 30 some years, I lived the family rule. I kept my inner voice quiet…except…when I couldn’t hold it in anymore and it periodically came out in volcano-like frustration and anger. Not a nice ride.
I didn’t order a package from LLBean for this one. It came into my life as a gift. A new awareness. A class called Assertiveness. I sat speechless when I learned that my voice mattered. That what I had to say mattered. That there was a win-win way of having a conversation, I literally felt like I’d been re-born with a new spirit, new heart, new freedom and a new Lee.
I re-wired old beliefs that weren’t supporting me. I reclaimed my true spirit. I celebrate that everyday.
Grow Beyond Your Circumstances
When abuse comes, it can steal and destroy. We each have the choice of growing where we are planted.
Beginning again. This day. At the moment. Gifts of help are available in the form of new skills, broader understanding, and lavish support. Moving beyond–by choice. Growing–by choice. Living your way–by choice.
Staying stuck is also a choice. You and I are worthy women. Worthy of living who God created us to be–in all our fullness.
We are not our life circumstance. We are what we do in spite with our life circumstances. Find the gift that helps you unlock your fear and supports you to move towards what you want. Coaches are great for that. I’m a coach that would love to support you in getting to your “there.”
Blessings, Lee
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Yak Trax . Dave just got 20 pairs for the Mountain Park Environmental Center for hikers to navigate the wintry trails. I’ve yet to use a pair but think you are really living your ” Take The Easy Path” assignment Coach Lee by supporting what you love: to walk the paths with your pups. Sometimes a tool like this can make all the difference.
Yes, Helene, so true. Just learning about some tool, some new way to think about things, some outside support can help with some making a major, life-changing shift. My fearless ice thing-ies are just one of those things that showed up when I needed them. Support is everywhere…noticing it and going after it is the key.
Glad Dave bought those Yak Trax for MPEC–safety for those wonderful young hikers. I can see the kids walking tall in the woods learning all about nature. Yeah!
WOW Lee!! This one is soooo ME! I’ve been meaning to let you know that for weeks now. Thanks for writing this up! You are very brave to share so openly….I’m learning, stumbling, growing, falling, getting up, slipping, rising etc. etc. This recovery is very challenging! My hardest is not allowing all my past affect who I am today, I took inspiration from you that it is POSSIBLE! I will continue to work on me!
Take care and stay your strong, caring self. You are doing all of us & the world a huge favor!
Jen, You are amazing. Just by daring to learn, stumble, grow, fall, get up, slip, rise…you are doing your reclaiming everyday. Once I found the neutral zone about the past–that place of realization that it wasn’t about me; that place of forgiveness; that place of releasing past circumstances and abusers; and that place where I find such joy in today! When “those” thoughts come, I breathe in, exhale, breathe in, exhale! It brings me back to present-moment living once again. Thanks for sharing, Jen. I so love you and honor your journey!