Last April, my friend and colleague, Coach Mynde, wrote blog post called “More Window Ledge Conversation.” It is a great post. After reading it again, I realized that I am currently smack dap on my own personal window ledge experience.
I came to California to support my son as he transition from his Navy life overseas in Japan to his new life in San Diego with his children and the Navy.
Sounds like a yummy place to be, right? It is. And it isn’t.
I am sitting on my window ledge of fear. Fear of what was, what might be and what is. Ever been there?
Looking Out
As I look out, I see circumstances that I can’t control. I see people that are making choices that affect people I love and I can’t do zip about it. I see the unknown and it scares the crap out of me. My ledge creates a kind of “all or nothing” place where everywhere I turn, I can’t fix it. I feel panic. Anger. Hurt. Tiredness.
As time has passed, I have looked out–beyond the what if’s and the what was to the what is. I am looking at my horizon—and there’s some beauty there. It’s my present moment appreciation that takes me off the ledge and into the sunset.
It’s a place of peace. I am grateful.
Looking In
Oh my, looking in…now that’s scary. I have some really yucky and “mama/granny bear” feelings about being in the midst of hurt, pain and the out-of-controlness of the circumstances that are unbearable—or so it seems.
News flash: Miller, everything does not depend on you. Dah! Ok, now that already feels better.
My son, Bill, is 42. His Commanding Officer on the USS Shiloh called him absolutely the best officer he’s served with in his 25+ years. He called him “upflappable.” I’m flappable. Bill’s unflappable. I see that. I feel that. I finally could celebrate his plan to build a new life as a single dad with his two adorable kids. Bill’s a warrior and he has a plan for his new family. I let go.
I am resting in my present moment calm now. I am grateful.
Looking Down
I look down from my imaginary—but real—window ledge and all looks doom and gloom. Nothing and everything are my buzzwords. Helpless and hopeless are my feelings (some of fear’s favorites!).
The longer I look down, the more I see that life goes on. That it isn’t yesterday. It isn’t tomorrow. It’s today. I am breathing. I am healthy. I have great kids. I have fabulous grandkids.
I remember. I celebrate. I can do this one-day at a time. I am grateful.
Looking Up
My legs are dangling on the ledge. I’m afraid of heights, but I dangle. My ledge is a lonely place. I look up and wonder what the heck am I going to do about all this? My over-responsible self is stuck.
I look up and I see the blue sky. The horizon. I can see way beyond myself. Then I remember one of my favorite sayings. God is God and I am not.
I am thankful. I am not alone. I am grateful.
Looking Around
What helped me take the leap from my ledge to my sunset? Support. Period. These are hard times and we can’t do life alone. Venting. Processing. Saying “it” out loud. Getting perspective. Moving forward support. These are imperatives.
One of the best ways to cut to the chase and move out is to have a coach on your support team. I personally love my coaches and I can’t imagine life without them.
I’d love to offer you a complimentary coaching conversation. We can chat for about an hour; we’ll coach about 30 minutes and you can see and feel what coaching is. It is by far the most powerful and wonderful gift of support you can give yourself.
Book an appointment today. You’ll make changes that you never thought would be possible!
Blessings, Coach Lee
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