Will the real Lee please stay up? Well, I have. But I need to say more.
I remember the first time I pressed the publish button for a blog post declaring that I have an eating disorder. Oh my gosh! This sinking feeling came over me that almost made me throw up. Really I did. And I said to myself, “Wow, Lee, you’re really exposed now.”
Being exposed is good–at least for me. Why? Speaking the truth out loud takes away the power of what happened to me.
As I read my tagline “helping women who have experienced abuse and want to live healthy and happy lives,” I realized that anyone reading my blog might wonder why.
I can tell you. I have been abused in my life—both by others and myself. Uh oh, I’m having that y-i-k-e-s feeling again.
How many times have I denied my abuse? Discounted it? Stuffed it? Pushed it away? Disbelieved it? Brushed it off? Hidden it? Ruminated about it? Tiptoed around it? Felt enraged about it? Made it my fault? Like a ga-zillion.
Abuse came at me from many directions in my life—some that I couldn’t even recognize until much later in life. I don’t know why; it was probably God’s way of protecting until I could handle the truth.
My perpetrators came in all sizes and shapes. Family, husband, myself, food, work, church people, false doctrines, men, money, expectations, conditional love, birth order, grandparents, learning disability, school friends, teachers–and so on.
The abuse took all forms–physical, sexual, emotional and spiritual.
Why do I care about women who have experienced abuse? Because I’ve been there. And I am living proof that there is life after abuse. A big life. A rich life. A happy life. A knowing life. A trusting life. A sacred life. The life you choose.
Truth is good. And forgiveness is good.
I can now see the abuse for what it was. And I now care for myself as the important and beloved person that I am. Beloved? Yes, that came directly from God–also know as “Abba.”
I support myself by:
Affirming myself and others.
Forgiving myself and others.
Loving myself unconditionally.
Trusting myself.
Listening inner voice and knowing what I know.
Taking care of myself.
Setting boundaries.
Being assertive and clear.
Saying no.
Saying yes when I want to.
Walking away.
Taking life less seriously.
Having a protection plan.
Laughing more.
Spending time with meaningful people.
Finding joy in present moment living.
Speaking truth out loud.
I have so many options to take care of myself in a way that supports self-care, nurturance, love, balance, acceptance and respect.
It takes time to move past abuse. and someone to support you. That’s why I coach women who have experienced abuse. I get it. I get you.
You are worthy. You are enough.
Blessings, Lee
speaking out loud takes bold. people don’t know how to deal with it. i love that you are affirming how you have grown past the abuse. no longer a victim but a Survivor and actually more than that…what’s past Survivor? Flourishing Woman of course.
I am there with you. the past is over and today we get to create it the way we want Coach Lee.
That is a beautiful statement Lee. Thank you for sharing your heart and soul with us. It gives me courage and encouragement. I am going to print this out as a reminder to myself that “I am not what happened to me, I am who I chose to become.” ~ Carl Jung
I am still struggling and still NOT giving up or giving in to the pain. Love you!
Cathy
What courageous words, Lee.
when you can be honest not just with yourself but with others, you are confronting that problem head on. You are announcing that you won’t let that abuse hold you down and make you afraid and make you want to hide. You go, girl! <3
Helene: Thanks for supporting the journey of the flourishing woman, Lee. I am grateful. It’s a \o/ moment to be on the other side. Hugs!
Cathy: I love the quote: “I am not what happened to me, I am who I chose to become.” ~ Carl Jung It is a powerful representation of who we are…always changing and moving towards what we want and need. You are a powerful woman, Cathy. You can and you will. Love you too!
Havana: So happy to see your beautiful face with your supportive comments. You rock, my friend!
Coming out about your eating disorder was a very courageous thing to do, but know that you are much better because of it. Letting people know our setbacks and flaws is a method of acceptance, and that is the first step towards recovery.
Very inspirational, I am sure you do a great job helping others who are in a similar struggle.