To social media or not?

I’ve been social media resistant for about 18 months now. Partly a choice about where to allocate my precious heartbeats and also an underlying icky feeling.

I had a couple of instances during the last few months when I did make a foray. First was to look up an ex of mine: I had this fear he might be dead. Pandemics for you!?!😳

The place I could quickly and easily find out information about him was on Facebook. Initially there was relief to discover he was alive, but an hour later, after I had scrolled through his page (and his wife’s!) I had an acute attack of ‘comparisonitis’: I felt jealous of the life they were having.

A reality-check with a good friend the next day reminded me it was THEIR FACEBOOK LIFE.

Then last week, an email made it through to my precious inbox to let me know an old school ‘friend’ had updated her FB profile picture. I clicked through. There she sat with her three older children, and husband. I scrolled posts about her current professional work. My ‘what have I done with my life?’ went beserk!

On both occasions I woke up the next day with what I call a social media hangover: basically feeing crap about myself and regretting ever opening up FB.

We watched The Social Dilemma recently. It put meat on the bones of my discomfort.

I now have a greater understanding of algorithms, and the mechanisms designed to keep us on there, plus a clear reminder of the impact on mental health, especially of young girls.

It reminded me of the difference between using technology for our own (and the greater) good, and being used by it.

At the same time, there’s an insecurity that comes from disengaging completely with social media: a fear of missing out.

In my work, this shows up as,

Given so many people are on it, maybe I can use it to shine a light in the darkness.

Maybe just Instagram.

It’s where my ideal customers hang out.

I should use Facebook groups for coaching programmes – it makes it accessible for people.

Right now, I am in an enquiry: how to show up, connect and make a difference without using social. What other possibilities are out there?🤔

I’ve come across a coach who uses an alternative to FB for her group coaching programmes. Also the paid app Disciple for communities. I’m not quite there yet financially but love the concept.👍

Wherever this enquiry takes me, what I do know is that,

The new world will be created by those who are not afraid to be insecure. 

Pema Chodron

Wherever you are on your own social media journey, I hope you’ll remember,

You matter. Where you choose to put your attention matters. Only love is real.❤️

Let’s flourish together!

Arlene x

Arlene Lyne

Arlene Francey Lyne

Coach, writer, mama, and raving fan of Mother Earth.
Life a work in progress: like a garden, it’s never finished!
Sharing practical inspiration to help you tend to what matters💖


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